The much anticipated final of this year's Winter Championship took place between the Miner Monarchs of Mayhem and Tree Leaf Inc... and it was everything the fans were hoping for.
While setting up again for the kick-off after an early score from the Elves (that seemed just a bit too easy), the Dwarves figured out that Tree Leaf had been playing with 12 players on the pitch. Undeterred by this blatant cheating, however, the Miners set out to level the score... and more than that.
Slowly grinding their way up the field, taking more and more Elves off the pitch in the process, the Dwarves were now well in control of the situation and looked sure to equalise before half-time. It was then , that they got a little too excited it seemed and fumbled the ball just over the halfway line. Leaf Tree were quick to recover and get the ball to relative safety to prevent the equaliser.
In the second half the pressure was on for the Miners and they set out to steamroller their way across the pitch again. By then then Wood Elf defence was beginning to falter in light of the coming onslaught and the Dwarves managed to equalise just before full-time.
The Elves now had a shot at a one turn TD, but there was no getting through the Dwarven backline... this meant overtime!
The Miner Monarchs won the toss, which pretty much sealed the fate of Tree Leaf Inc. before they even kicked off. In the end six Wood Elves just weren't enough to stop eleven Dwarves on a rampage. 2-1 to the Miners, who remain unbeaten in 24 matches!
After being totally decimated in their semi-final against the Miners, G.N.O. had to field an almost entirely new team against their old rivals the Grünburg Bruisers. With a new line-up, it seemed, also came a new attitude... and the Bruisers were about to find out the hard way.
ASfter being caught flat-footed by a Bruisers Blitz on the first kick-off, the girls managed to regain composure and possession of the ball and ran in for the opening TD mid first half.
Grünburg didn't waste any time after that and set out to put some points on the board by all means necessary... which amazingly enough resulted in the Ogre "Blorg" scoring just before half-time.
The second half then was a right mess on both sides. A few turnovers and an interception kept things interesting for fans on both sides. Shortly before the end of the match, however, Bruisers starplayer Hagen Nibelung got his hands on the ball in front of the Amazons' endzone... and that was the end of it. A small gap in G.N.O.'s defensive line was enough for the Blitzer to slip through and bring the game home for the Bruisers.
The Plate final in this year's Winter Championship was a deatch-match of epic proportions between Corrida De Torros and The Skinky Dinks.
After a one all stalemate at full-time and casualties mounting on both sides, play had to be suspended for a whole week before overtime could commence. Apparently it took that long to clear the pitch of all the blood, body parts and bullshit from the first two halves of the match.
Even though the Skinks still had a real shot at winning the match, a severe lack of players hampered the lizards offensive efforts and they promptly turned over the ball. At this stage there wasn't much left to mount a successful defence against the Torros' final stampede towards victory.
Both teams can also pride themselves on the ABBF record of most casualties total in a match... 14!
Awaiting report...
Awaiting report...
All we can be certain of is that the Greenskin Slayers have successfully defended their Wooden Spoon. However, further details are currently unavailable, as the Orcs have gone all funny and both teams stubbornly refuse to disclose any information.
Girls' Night Out decided to undertake the post game celebrations before starting, thereby avoiding the inevitable problems of trying to drink with a broken arm, smashed kneecap or while dead. They trembled onto the field against the dreaded Miners, hoping at least to get a kick-off to give them a chance. Not to be, and within a few minutes only 4 Girls' were left on the pitch. A valiant attempt was made to counter strike after the dwarf score, but the star player Edith, Publicity, dropped the ball. Amazingly, due to the ministrations of 2 Budwiser Babes, the Girls' still had a full team at start of second half. True, they had lost 3 of their major skilled players, but there was a chance to tie. Unfortunately, the wizard the Girls' had hired was distracted and missed another opportunity to help achieve a tie. When he looked up from what he was doing (comforting one of the less injured Girls') it was too late. Girls' got beaten up again until only 4 remained. In all, 10 casualties were suffered. The Girls' managed to knock out only one opponent.
There were no post game celebrations: 4 key players are out of the proposed consolation game, one dead. Management was pleased, however, as they had earned $120k. No one wants to play a meaningless game for 3rd or 4th place, however, and rumours are that players from Girls' Blouse Ltd will resign, enmasse.
The second semi-final can only be described as a debacle... at least from a Human point of view. Tree Leaf Inc. walked all over the Grünburg Bruisers right from the start and with a little help from their fans.
A pitch invasion on the first kick-off saw one Elf and seven (!) Humans stunned for the first drive and Tree Leaf went 1-0 ahead almost unopposed.
After that things continued as they started, the Elves being in total control of the match and always at least a player up. No matter what the Bruisers attempted, there was always an Elf to thwart their plans and steal the ball.
An embarrassing 4-0 defeat was the end result of this match that most of the Human players (and spectators and reporters for that matter) would rather forget.
The match didn't start very well for the rats with Fezglitch (the ball 'n chain star) proving his 80k worth with one of the first actions of the first turn: trying to block a saurus but taking himself out instead. Thankfully the luck was out for the lizards as well, as both teams spent the first quarter of the game failing to either pick up, hand off, or keep hold of the ball. The Dinks did however get it together first, and took the first half 1-3. One of Phil's sauri also managed to kill the longest-living, highest-skilled (and -1MA + double niggle) gutterrunner Geshtnik, despite the 'Snipes apoth's best efforts.
The 'Snipes were in with a shot at overtime around turn 14: the score at 2-3 and a series of skinks smacked off to the dugout to give the rats the rare luxury of numerical superiority. But with the ball loose at the Skaven end, one of the remaining skinks managed to stunty his way through the rats' line and pick up and score to seal the match.
Despite their top half finish in the league, the run of the 9 remaining men of the Lurkers came to an end at the hands of the B-S merchants.
The action started from the whistle, with a 2 turn riot. Order restored, the Lurkers kicked, and the Bull K.O.d the Beast with the first Blitz of the game, but at the cost of an unexpected turnover, The speeding Lurkers grabbed the ball under the noses of the Clawmeisters, scampering home 4 turns later for the first lightning fast TD of the game.
Overconfident, the Lurkers set up their cunning defence a second time, only to see if fall to a typical B-S play. The lone Beastman receiver, having somewhat improbably survived a Blitz, dodges away from the Beast's tentacles, goes for it to the end zone, where he conhfidently receives a turn 8 Long Bomb from his AG 3 Runner. No Re-Roll required, of course.
After that, it was too much for the crestfallen Lurkers, even their record 820,000 of inducements could not stop them being turned over in the second half for a 2-1 victory by the Bulls. To add insult to injury, the sole star player of the Lurkers (6338 Horns, Regen, Sure Hands, Kick-off Return, Extra Arms, Sure Feet) sustained a Niggling Injury and will miss the play-off against the pesky rats. Well done the Bulls.
In the lowly bottom-dwelling bowl finals, the necro franchise Transmogrified have come out swinging.
Fired up by their coach (and the induction of Hack 'N' Slash to their ranks), the undead lurched out onto the pitch.
Winning the toss, they elected to receive and quickly promoted the ball up to the LoS, where Hack pulled out one of his now infamous blitzes.
Trying to run his trusty Husky into a nearby greenskin, the chainsaw kicked back on him. Making a valiant effor to control the machine,
he tried again and had the same thing happen! Down he went, off the pitch he went, regeneration only just saving him from an ignominious game in the morgue.
The Orclanders picked up the ball and pulled off a grinding drive to open the scoring. 1-0 to the greenies.
After a motivational pep talk by their coach, the differently-alive picked up the bladder after the kick-off and their star dodging
wight managed to run the pigskin into the endzone for an equalling TD.
With the sun making a very bright appearance early in the game, passing opportunities were few and far between. One exception was
the troll, throwing a goblin downrange to distract the Necromantics.
The ball was coughed up more times than a cat's furball, with the bladder changing hands nearly every turn in the second half.
Junior, the apprentice werewolf, performed a legendary play mid-second. With only one assist, he blitzed the black orc who was
holding the ball at the time (why did a BoB have the ball? No-one knows) and knocked the big greenie down. The ball bounced
back to Junior who made two valiant efforts to grab it, being slightly hampered by an adjacent orc blitzer.
No die, the ball bouced free. OK, said Junior, and dodged out of the tackle zone to pick up the ball and continue running it down
the pitch. Hero!
But the orcses managed to rally and forced the ball to bounce free once more. Strip ball? Who needs it. The players were being
flattened left, right and centre.
Finally, Joey wight managed to promote the pill downfield, but at the last minute was badly blinded by the sun.
With Gollie the ghoul waiting in the endzone for the winning TD, the pass was inaccurate and bounced at the Gollie's feet. Or
what was left of them, anyway. Aha! cried the Orclanders' coach, and promptly sent their nearest Black Orc to blitz the ghoul away,
allowing an orc blitzer to cover the ball, probably forcing extra time.
But nay, nay and thrice nay! Double skulls for the BoB!
Down he went like a sack of the smelly stuff at Gollie's feet.
For the game, Gollie lurched out of the endzone, picked up the bladder and hopped in, sealing the 2-1 win with the last play of the
second half.
Winnings all round, no extra skills allocated, hooray and boo respectively. The undead lurch on!
The Slayers started off true to their name with a zombie who will never shuffle across the pitch again!
But then unexpectedly the game turned into a fast scoring game with each side scoring once in each half and only managing to push each other around. Even the crowd failed to tear an orc lineman in half.
It came down to the last turn of the game, with the grim spectre of overtime looming. A werewolf couldn’t believe his luck when an orc went for the ball and slipped on his arse. He gripped the ball in his jaws and went all the way to score!
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